Path Of My Choosing

...You are on the path of MY choosing. There is no randomness about your life......Every moment is alive with my Glorious Presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine... (Jesus Calling)
 
I hope your sky is as blue, the grass as green & the sun is as bright as what I see out my window! I am so thankful for days like these. Everyday really, but a beautiful spring day does something to the heart...especially when the body that protects it is working so hard to shut the pain out. Days like these don't make the pain go away, they don't lessen the burden but they certainly help fill "those places in the brain where pain loves to go". Today John & I surprised Blair & showed up to have lunch with her at school. I woke up feeling pretty bad & considered going another day but couldn't wait! I knew it would be special & fun, but had no idea the distraction would make such a difference, even if only for about 20 min. Seeing her eyes light up, happy to see us, her friends all fighting for a spot to sit at the table with us as if we were celebrities! So fun! 

The road for Blair continues to be a bumpy one but I THINK, I think we may have really gotten somewhere this time, hit some answers this week. I was beginning to grow discouraged & defeated until Tuesday. A good, productive visit, a new plan of action is in place & we are both feeling encouraged. I feel deep down something is coming, something good but like all things, the hard work must be done first! I am excited as our homework is to read "The Giving Tree" together! Classic! This silly accident has caused so much trouble, has caused pain in so many ways. So much heart ache has come BUT growth, growth is slowly showing it’s blooms as these spring days become more certain & faithful! It's so amazing how God tends to His garden, pulling the weeds, eliminating the unhealthy stuff, fertilizing, nurturing... cultivating His soil....for what will be, no doubt, a rich & plentiful garden full of fresh new growth, bright peddles, new hope! “…It’s in the in-between that the real magic happens. The seeds are planted, the roots take hold…and we blossom into who we were meant to be…” Continue to lift her, we feel your prayers & love!

For me? We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.  Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 
2 Corinthians 4:8-10(NLT)

We had a quick but great visit with Phil & Nancy last week! God was REALLY looking out for me! In hind site, I was doing better pain wise & can now remember cautiously thinking to myself, "Hmmm, MAYBE I am getting a hair better? Something might be working? I have been able to do better for their visit...this is good!" Unfortunately that was short lived. The days that followed have been by far the worst, most painful, upsetting & sad days I would experience since I learned of this illness. The past 5 days I have been surprised by my sudden inability to do simple things, “Some days...in an effort to pull at least one thing together, Lipstick...was all she could do..." not being able to weight bear in a more dramatic way, not being able to walk steps, bend over... which Chris can attest to in his quick stops by the house, you can read it in his eyes, the mix of confusion & compassion... watching my role as "actor extraordinaire" shift, my eyes fill with tears, I haven't been able to come close to faking it...tears streaming as I got caught half way up the stairs the other day & couldn't step up or down, something that hasn't been this extreme before...It was scary sitting there unsure of how I would go up or down...just crying...”Wrapping her arms around her torso she held tight to keep her heart from falling out…” then feeling Blair's little arm around my shoulder squeezing ME in for a change saying, "it's ok mom, it's ganna be ok...". Have I ever mentioned Old Soul? I don't think I have ever been in a place of physically NOT being able to "suck it up", push though because that's what I do, I'm a mom....recently, I think I emotionally find myself in a state of shock & fear at the reality when my girls or Chris find me where I lay (meaning, I couldn't go any further so I just went down where I was for a rest, or a meltdown, even if just for a few min., then you get up & go again, if & when you can!) & say, "hey, what cha doin? are you ok? pain is bad huh? im sorry...". BUT as my mother has always said, This too shall pass, and it will! By GRACE! Isn't that wonderful??

Tuesday (of last week) I went back to the dr. My PT had already been in touch, evidently she too was concerned after seeing me the day before in which I could do minimal PT. As always, he was incredibly encouraging, stating that I wasn't any worse but he had hoped that my pain would be down. The med isn't doing much & we think there is a cyst behind my left knee so not sure if that's contributing. Nut shell, based on his evaluation/exam, we made the decision to do a diagnostic nerve block above (block & steroids) & to the inside of my left knee. The nerve runs all the way down through the bottom of my foot. I’m not sure of the wordage & such & won't go into details (although you are welcome to ask if you'd like more detail I am happy to explain!) not the most fun thing I have ever done BUT helpful & informative evidently. Whole new understanding to how our young children feel after their big shots. He said I'd be sore like having Tetanus & boy was he right! He feels like we might be dealing more with a Stage II RSD (more direct traumatic nerve injury) than Stage I but it seems to be improving slightly. There is neuropathy & appears to be additional nerve damage & possibly other underlying issues that have been overshadowed by the RSD which sort of explains the pain level.  It's all a lot of info. & I come out over stimulated BUT incredibly hopeful in regards to my doctor & his ability to get me well ~ one day? Which is said even through tears of pain!! Thankfully the doctor was able to catch Chris on the phone to update him as there was no way to regurgitate it to him myself & they could have a much more successful medical conversation in half the time! There is still no way to know how far we are from remission, it feels like an eternity...“Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does…”from getting this pain under control, it's a slow process unfortunately. Small victories press forward. “Who are we to say that things aren’t happening exactly as they need to happen?” The current medicine causes such strong side effects, which is really unusual, especially being such a low dose, that he didn't feel comfortable upping the dosage because the side effects would be so overboard for me that Id really be a mess. SO he is switching me to a different anti conversant & continuing the topical. Apparently there can be some pretty big side effects with this one too so it was a tossup as to when to start it with Derby coming this weekend & the reality that I could break out in some horrible rash or go loopy (we have a Derby Eve party)...Chris & I decided to chance it however b/c we don't want to waste a day of getting it into my system...If I do well by next week he'll take me off the old med. So....I ride my roller coaster, but not alone! I am thankful for you all who are willing to ride along beside me...whether peeks or valleys!  I do not know how people go through something like this w/o a doctor like the specialist I have been seeing. Having a physician assure you that he's never gonna say, "well, that's it, I'v done all I can, don't know what else to do, sorry...", is amazing & offers such comfort. How one can leave his office with no less pain than when arriving, only more hopeful, sure, confident that your physician is going it right there beside you too. Sincerely.

 I continue on this journey, “Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does…” I think of the good God is churning thru all of this & pray for who or what I am being prepared for... “..Perhaps strength doesn’t reside in having never been broken...but the courage required to grow strong in the broken places…”
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, support, friendship & prayers. You have no idea how much it means, how much you mean!

In HIM,
Sarah

...As you give yourself more & more to a life constant in communion with me, you will find that you have no time for worry... ...Thus you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to WALK along the path of peace.  (Jesus Calling)

The Love Of A Pony

 My heart is so full as I watch them come together with such loyalty & love. There are few who truly know the strength of a little girl & her pony. It’s really quite unique & unless you have experienced it yourself, words cannot describe the love & the bond that are fashioned by unspoken devotion. Tessa’s story could have taken a sad turn if it hadn’t been for the one who brought her home to Summer Wind, Karen! So hard to imagine that this special pony was sent to slaughter only to be saved by the hand of a dedicated animal lover. While her build is petite & slender, Tessa exudes strength…her frame adorned with a dark silky coat that shines even on a dreary day. Her radiance not only comes from the hands that groom her, they come from a smile in her heart from the promise of a life filled with more love than a pony’s heart could possibly hold. Like Tessa, Blair is sensitive, & sometimes timid, with brief times of worry that are outnumbered by times of excitement & fun ~ you couldn’t find a more loyal friend than Blair! Karen knew Blair loved horses & that she was determined that riding would “be her thing”, only she was intimidated by the height of Mazey, the horse I have been riding. Mazey is gentile in nature & their friendship so strong on the ground but she expressed her desire for something smaller, something more her size.

The hair on our arms stood with chills as Karen shared her desire to continue her commitment to Tessa by way of a surprise, “giving” Blair the pony for her birthday! Alimony based on care & attention, days full of love and hugs….& of course carrots! With surprise in her eyes like twinkles reflecting from the sun, Blair quickly made 

her way to HER beautiful bay pony who was anxiously awaiting her with a giant pink bow! 

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed that a little girl & her pony could have personalities so similar that it’s obvious they don’t need words to express the desires of their hearts. The minute her small hand cupped the soft muzzle of that pony, I knew it was the beginning of a special friendship.

This day 7 years ago my “peanut” weighing 5 lbs 15oz, forever changed our lives & continues to do so daily.  I watch without her knowing & feel an ache by the realization that she will continue to grow up & the day will come where she will no longer need a ride to the barn nor will she sleep just down the hall. As I often do, I pause & absorb her beauty & her soft, sensitive nature. I appreciate who she has become, &  I have faith she will all too soon grow up to be a strong woman in Christ .

As days end nears I am reminded of something I recently read in a wonderful book series called The Walk, “We are all on a walk…I don’t know what’s ahead of me…there are people I’ve yet to meet who are waiting for my path to intersect with theirs, so they can complete their journeys. I don’t know who or where they are, but I know for certain that they are waiting.” I reflected for a moment & realized that it’s about so much more than what WE are getting from those who cross OUR paths, that we must look at what our paths look like & the impact our paths can play in the journey of OTHERS who are waiting for our paths to intersect. Who we are & the people we long to be should have a greater impact on the journey of all those we encounter rather than what they have to offer us! What that path looks like? Well, that’s up to us! 

 I couldn’t be more certain about God’s amazing plan for how he wants our story to unfold. The road map of Tessa’s future so brilliantly took flight by lovingly impacting the heart of the one who saved her. Long ago the path was paved for this 6th Day in June where a sweet pony’s journey would yet again cross with one so similar in nature. The Lord’s plan is so grand as it perfectly unfolds in its rhythmical way like whispers dancing on a summer breeze!!

 I will never tire of these moments with my girls, with my family & friends...moments of time, a carefully planned out journey that will look a little bit differently in the years to come as I appreciate even more that these experiences are molded, by those lives who have intersected with ours!

Milestones...

High Upon That Hillside...

My husband & I moved to Texas a number of years ago & not long after we were settled into our new home I looked at Blair, who was around 8 months old & said, “C’mon Blair, lets go out & get a life today!” And that is just what we did! I was incredibly blessed by the meeting of one of my best, most dear friends Jamie that day when I was invited to attend a MOPS meeting in Flower Mound, TX. It’s been 7 years & I never knew that I could have such a friend as I have in Jamie, my “sister separated at birth”! Our family stories & personality traits are freakishly so similar it just doesn’t seem possible that we haven’t known each other our whole lives! Chris & I moved back to Kentucky but we talk almost every day, we often can’t make decisions without the help of the other & the distance is painful, but it has only made our friendship that much stronger! Recently Jamie was approached to speak in front of a group of women & as we discussed her impending message, an overwhelming urge stirred in me to add something to this monumental day that was fast approaching. I am still finishing her necklace so the image is something similar to give you an idea but the story tells the rest!

 Dear Jamie,

As I reflect on what I want to share with you, a favorite story of mine keeps popping up, “Tale Of Three Trees”. I have included something I made especially for you which holds such symbolism that I figured the Lord is paralleling in our stories.

I hand stamped the disk with something very special. Its surface holds 2 trees full of blooms and possibilities, birds that rest in their delight. These trees stand together upon a hillside so strong and sure. They have a bond like no other, a friendship so unconditional and true. The sun rises and sets around them as the days pass by. One defuses the other from the bright early morning light while the other shades her friend from the rays of the hot afternoon sun. Their days together are special and while they may stand firm high up on that hillside, they still must endure the view of the valleys too. They weather storms of many kinds, one leaning on the other as strong winds challenge them to a dual, pressuring them from one side to the other but still they stand strong and mighty! Cold winter nights brings chatter of the impending spring days and its offering of warmth and comfort in the thought of their fresh blooms filling their branches. While cold winds take their breath away, they wouldn’t trade the quiet of snowfall, the beauty of fresh powder covering the surface below. Spring showers bring companionship with bright May flowers but not before thunderstorms threaten their deeply grounded roots, Alarm sets in as heavy rainfall is quickly absorbed into the soil and fear of their roots breaking free is only temporary as their faith is a reminder of their promised safety. See, long ago, their presence was carefully planned. With large, yet gentile, father like hands they were placed deep below the surface of the earth with an important purpose. There is no doubt; nothing can bring these two trees down. Spring tempts to be their favorite as they witness the birth of new life all around. How proud they are to offer safety to baby birds nestled in the camouflage of her leaves anxiously await their mama with hungry bellies. They enjoy the tickles of squirrels quickly dancing across their branches in their sing song sort of way, as they go about their mission for nourishment. Their limbs are so full, so lush that if you fail to look closely, it’s impossible to determine where one tree ends and the other begins. Alas the days of summer arrive and cause their hearts to spill over as they relish the sweet sounds of little giggles and the feel of children climbing and swinging from their branches, Oh how peaceful is the quiet as loved ones nap in her shade. The days are long and filled with much happiness and activity. Before long, as if it were just yesterday, the brilliant colors of autumn arrive and paint stories of thanksgiving across the hillside. Their leaves will begin to drop soon, as they were intended to do, revealing their bark which acts as a road map of stories that have been fashioned in their presence. There is no denying the smell of the campfires warmth late into fall evenings. Oh how time flies watching children pop from towering piles of leaves or the whispers of thankfulness speaking through the cool breeze. Yes! Life is quite grand standing there as two, growing in their stillness.
The seasons come and go, year after year, and through it all, the two trees stand strong and tall, for they know, by doing so they will be pointing all that will see, to the one who placed them together many years ago, high upon that hillside, their Father.
In closing, I came across a quote that my mother gave me that I believe CAN “nutshell” such a journey:

“She not only saw the light at the end of the tunnel, she became that light for others.”

May you continue to allow God to work in you and thru you, to be a light for all those who thought they could never be brave enough to stand high on that hillside and share their story because after all, we really can do all things thought Christ! I love you dear friend!

In Him,
Sarah

What A Blessing...

I love those times when you hear God speaking so clearly in your heart that you feel like you just might  explode with excitement! Those times when you know without a doubt that he has filled your insides with well planned skills, ideas of creativity and focus, ideas so strong & sure, it's as if the floodgates have just busted wide open! It's so exciting, you just can’t seem to get on it fast enough!  While I am so truly blessed each and every day, I never tire of those really stand out times that almost take my breath away! 

Recently I was approached by The Reverend Richard Burden of The Episcopal Church of Our Saviour in Richmond, KY to shoot pictures for an article he had written and magazine cover for the Seminary he graduated from in California. Richard and I visited and discussed his expectations and schedule; we would only have 7 days to pull this shoot off so we need to get right to work!  As we threw around ideas for his shoot, Richard shared with me one of the neat things he does in his ministry which is something the Episcopal Church calls “The Blessing of the Animals”. Immediately I was hit with an overwhelming idea that I would have to keep to myself until I could confirm its possibility. I made arrangements to visit with my friend Karen Bailey at Central Kentucky Wildlife Rehabilitation and Summer Wind Farm. I was so pleased when Karen (and her furry friends) told me that they were happy to help us capture Richard blessing not only her domestic animals such as the broodmares, foals & barn dog but also her rescued wildlife!  She expressed her concern however, because her wild animals don’t necessarily work on command but it was worth a try at capturing a modern day “St. Francis” image!  I let her know that I understood her concern BUT I had an overwhelming feeling about this one and wasn’t worried! Richard loved the idea of shooting with the animals and in the days that followed we established a plan of action!  Sunday morning would be spent in Richmond observing him in his church setting, sitting in on a class he teaches as well as the service and then he would come to Georgetown to shoot with the animals in the afternoon. 

Sunday greeted us with cool air and a beautiful blue Kentucky sky!  As I always do before a shoot, I spend some time visiting with God, asking for his peace as well as the ability to do HIS work, capture the images and story HE wanted me to tell.  I have never been more sure that we were setting out on a journey that would prove to be fully for the grace of the one who had blessed me with this opportunity!  By days end I had met wonderful, welcoming people at Richards church,  and was pretty sure this day was about a lot more than photography. I was more than elated to have had complete obedience; OK mostly obedient animals cooperate as I most certainly GOT just what we set out  for out on Summer Wind Farm, THE Blessing of The Animals!!!

 

 I would like to extemd a very special thank you to Richard and The Episcopal Church Of Our Saviour and its members as well as Karen and her crew, Central Kentucky Wildlife Rehabilitation & Summer Wind Farm!

Oliver!

The Eckerle Family

 

The Rogers Girls

What a fun afternoon with the Rogers girls! With her due date rapidly approaching, Jamie was really looking forward to her maternity session! It was a blast shoot the girls as their excitement was obvious, they were so excited about the upcoming arrival of their new baby sister Baylee Ann!!

Virginia Newsome

                                                                

I was elated when asked to do this fun session with my 15 year old cousin Virginia! Virginia is really involved and had has an enormous love of the arts so it was really fun coming up with some creative locations to shoot! Throughout our session I found myself constantly being reminded of how quickly Virginia has grown up, 

she's  no longer the precious little flower girl from my wedding but a wonderful 

and talented young lady with an amazing future ahead of her.

Kendall & Dapple Apple

                                                        

A Blue Ribbon Day

A few days ago my friend Tracie informed me that her sweet daughter Kendall would be competing in her first horse show! I grew up riding horses and showing for as long as I can remember so I didn't waste any time asking if Blair and I could come watch her. Tracie said she would love for us to come support Kendall but I was honored when Tracie said, "I was gonna ask if you'd come take pictures."!  For the past several months Tracie has shared with me Kendall's great love of horses. Her desire to spend hours on end mucking stalls, grooming, riding and basking in the unspoken bond, a friendship & love that can only be felt between a girl and her horse. The sights and smells sent me back to my childhood days I will forever cherish. Countless days at the barn taking lessons and cleaning, sharing carrots, summer days that seem to go on forever, a love that will always run so deep to my core and forever engraved in my bones. There is no doubt that Kendall shares that same love for horses...and if you look close, her young eyes are like a window revealing the desires of her heart! Kendall rode well and earned herself a blue ribbon in Cross Country and a 5th in Dressage & though not as proud as her parents, Blair & I were proud of her too, as her trophies weren't the ribbons she had acquired by days end, but the victory of hard work paying off and a swollen heart from simply "having fun"!  Congrats!

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

Dear friends, Mom and Harriette

This was written to go with a bracelet I made for my mothers best friend before she moved to Denver. The bracelet is similar to the one above but was all green stones...It had a disc charm hand stamped with a tree and a bird at it's base. There was also a Giraffe charm.

For Harriette,

As you venture on to this new chapter, I would like to send you off with this bracelet I made especially for you! While I know green is your favorite color, this bracelet says more than you know! To begin with, you will see that the disk has been stamped with a scripture verse:

Be strong and of good courage;

Be not frightened, neither be dismayed;

For the Lord Your God

is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

Along with that is a picture of growth! The tree symbolizes so much! The strong roots that were long ago planted in the grounds of the home that will be left behind, but never forgotten. Like all grand trees, this one is a tree that has stood strong through the years of treacherous storms that have unsuccessfully tried to bring her down. It has rejoiced in the cool spring days where children have swung from her branches or laid in the grass beneath her enjoying her shade. Friends and family have gathered around her and fashioned memories that whisper in the breeze…Her trunk stands tall…her branches reach out with open arms, full of blooms and ready to embrace what’s yet to come! A bird rests at her base in preparation, for the time has come and she is ready to take flight…and just as precious birds do, they sing their sweet song…and they soar!

“”She cast her hearts whisperings and wishes

onto the wings of a butterfly

and felt them soar free and brave”

"Amazing Grace" adorns these charms and makes us feel close to you. She is not just a majestic animal with neck stretched high, she is a giraffe that has a special story that lies with in her. Her story is that of unique sisterhood friendship with bonds that will never be broken by time nor by distance. She truly is “Amazing”! Her most important quality is Grace, a grace that fills us to the depth of our souls and is a grace that can only be offered by the Lord alone. When you wear this bracelet I pray that it will offer you peace and protection, strength and closeness to those who hold you so dear! A reminder that the one who paid such an ultimate price, is the one who surrounds us and blesses us with sisters in Him and a bond that can never be broken!

I really don't like to say goodbye, rather "see you soon"... 
 I am sharing this because it's a reminder of those wonderful women, girlfriends I am so lucky to have in my life, the sisters in Him that have enriched my life in so many ways. The "Sisters" with such strength and grace...I am so blesses to have such a diverse group of women in my life, women of all ages that are spread across miles or close to home!